Thursday, August 30, 2012

yep, I'm still here

So posting's been kinda dead around here for a while.  I'll do an update with plenty of kickass stuff I've sewed lately in a bit, but first I want to get serious for a minute.

I have chronic depression, and I've decided to talk about it.  Part of what kept me from getting help for so long was the shame and stigma that gets attached to mental illness.  Shame turned that negative voice in my head from a whisper to a deafening roar.  Shame made me feel like I deserved it when I got treated badly.  Fuck shame.  If talking candidly about depression convinces someone else to get help, then it's totally worth it.  I wish I'd started taking medication YEARS ago.  Even though I still have depressive episodes at times, it's like the difference between a tropical storm and a category 5 hurricane. 

Things have changed so much for me since the spring, when I finally broke down and went looking for help.  So much is different.  The urge to stuff myself with salty snacks and drink to excess is almost gone.  I have so much more energy for my kid and the things I enjoy.  The best thing is that I no longer feel hopeless all the time anymore. 

One last thing, I feel like this is an illness, and it's being treated, like any other chronic condition.  Anyone that wants to judge me or act like I'm defective or something because of this, well, that's their problem, not mine.

Okay, I'm stashing my soapbox now.  Time to go photograph some of my latest projects.