Thursday, August 30, 2012

yep, I'm still here

So posting's been kinda dead around here for a while.  I'll do an update with plenty of kickass stuff I've sewed lately in a bit, but first I want to get serious for a minute.

I have chronic depression, and I've decided to talk about it.  Part of what kept me from getting help for so long was the shame and stigma that gets attached to mental illness.  Shame turned that negative voice in my head from a whisper to a deafening roar.  Shame made me feel like I deserved it when I got treated badly.  Fuck shame.  If talking candidly about depression convinces someone else to get help, then it's totally worth it.  I wish I'd started taking medication YEARS ago.  Even though I still have depressive episodes at times, it's like the difference between a tropical storm and a category 5 hurricane. 

Things have changed so much for me since the spring, when I finally broke down and went looking for help.  So much is different.  The urge to stuff myself with salty snacks and drink to excess is almost gone.  I have so much more energy for my kid and the things I enjoy.  The best thing is that I no longer feel hopeless all the time anymore. 

One last thing, I feel like this is an illness, and it's being treated, like any other chronic condition.  Anyone that wants to judge me or act like I'm defective or something because of this, well, that's their problem, not mine.

Okay, I'm stashing my soapbox now.  Time to go photograph some of my latest projects.

1 comment:

  1. It is an illness, and it can be treated, and good for you for getting help. At the start of this summer a friend of mine took his own life. I and many people in our community to totally shocked because he had seemed so happy and full of vitality. He was almost always in a good mood around people, and always helping others out. But after he died, I found out that over the past year he'd showed signs of depression. His wife (they were separated) has suggested he seek professional help, and he refused, finding it shameful. And now he is gone. It totally could have been prevented. I've been dealing with the pain of his loss all summer, and can't even imagine what his family has gone through and will continue to go through in the years to come. Our mental health as human beings is just as important as our physical health. We need to take care of ourselves or quality of life suffers, and life is over too quickly.